ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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