Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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