Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
