No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
