the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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