I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
