sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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