Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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