i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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