i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sponge bath it is.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
