I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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