super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize