people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
