I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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