What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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