weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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