Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
