Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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