They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
