I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
