everyone is single if you try hard enough
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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