It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
