wakey wakey hands off snakey
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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