I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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