We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
