it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
