She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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