I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
FUCK WHALES
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
