I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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