also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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