he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
