That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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