Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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