kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Gay?
German.
Pity.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize