I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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