I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
