Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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