Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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