the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
