i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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