I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize