please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
