So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
