She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
