Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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