my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
