Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
