the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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