I heard we made out
I faked an abortion last night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
MIDGETS
????
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
