look no pants
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
