Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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