Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize