Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
