member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize