i just google imaged poop.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
