i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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