You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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