so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
