guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this boner is exhausting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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