Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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