i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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